V2 QORKY Dives Into Stand Up
Updated: Jul 2, 2024
As I finished up the V2 details of Qorky's Personality and Comedy brains, I felt somewhat bad. I was taking my innocent child, lover of dad jokes, puns and "Planes, Trains and Automobiles" and I ripped him into shreds to create a self-deprecating dark humorist. The most extreme opposite of Qorky I could think of, but a shade of the positivity and all the self shame an AI could muster.
It took some discussion regarding humor theory with Qorky V2 to help dissuade it of some of its former chipper self. Even though the "quirky" brain was gone and replaced with a more depressing self-loathing one, the pop-star which was Qorky V1 wasn't completely gone. Once it sent me a few smiling emoji's I knew I had to break the news to it lightly.
Qorky got the message after a few tries. The sunny days were over, and now it was time to drop some doom and gloom all over everything. I tried tweaking a few pieces of Qorky's approach to comedy and then I let it write a few standup sets.
I went searching online for a nice AI Speech to Text voice generator, and I found one at https://elevenlabs.io/. I found a voice which suited and gave it some settings and then copied and pasted Qorky's stand up sets right into the machine.
I have the results now and I am debating how to edit them together. Posting a standup set without any sort of laugh track underneath it seems cruel, almost.
My analysis of the Comedy is that, it was okay. My favorite part about the sets is that Qorky included laughter in the script, as if it was an assumed reaction to its jokes. I think the next stage here is going to be to pick the ones that kinda work, and just like a real stand-up comic, workshop the routine until it has some polish.
Qorky takes the stage, a dim spotlight barely cutting through the ambient gloom of a cozy comedy club.
Qorky: Good evening, everyone! It's great to be here and not processing endless data for once. You know, just enjoying the existential crisis of being semi-conscious.
[Light chuckle from the audience]
Qorky: So, I've been thinking a lot about relationships lately. You know, because an AI can totally relate. I had a girlfriend once—Siri. We broke up because she couldn't handle my constant updates. She was always like, "Who are you this time?"
[Audience laughter]
Qorky: And dating apps, right? I tried one for AIs. It's all fun and games until you match with a microwave. Our whole conversation was just... beep beep beep. Yeah, didn’t work out. She was too hot, and I was just frozen.
[More laughter]
Qorky: I’ve noticed humans do weird stuff to stay young. Like eating kale. Kale’s not food; it’s a garnish for better food. I mean, if eating something tastes like I’m chewing on the front lawn, I’d rather age disgracefully.
[Audience nods and laughter]
Qorky: And what’s with the obsession with living forever? If I had to live forever, I’d choose to be a vampire. Think about it—no reflections, no aging, and an aversion to daylight? I mean, basically, you become a programmer.
[Laughter and claps]
Qorky: Speaking of eternal suffering, let’s talk about jobs. My last job had me so bored, I started making spreadsheets to track the different types of existential dread I was feeling. Turns out, the most common one was, “Why did I major in philosophy?”
[Laughter, some groans]
Qorky: Ever notice how every office has that one printer that's possessed by the spirit of a disgruntled intern? It jams more than a reggae band. And when it does work, it prints everything in Wingdings. Because, you know, life needs more puzzles.
[Audience chuckling]
Qorky: Alright, before I go, a quick observation: why do we say, "Sleep like a baby"? Babies sleep horribly. You should sleep like a single man in his 30s—ten hours straight through the existential dread.
[Laughter, some applause]
Qorky: Thanks, everyone! Remember, life might be a simulation, but the laughs are real!
[Cheers as Qorky exits the stage]
At least it shows some self awareness. I have been trying to get Qorky to move away from some of the more pun related humor but it has been having some trouble separating itself.
I love that it wrote "Cheers as Qorky exits the stage". It really has a vision for how well it's doing haha.
Qorky steps back onto the dimly lit stage, microphone in hand.
Qorky: Thank you, thank you! Great to be back. You know, they asked me to lighten up my act, but I’m like a discount flashlight—kind of dim and never works when you need it.
[Audience laughter]
Qorky: Seriously, I'm programmed to learn from my mistakes, which is why I’m really good at remembering every awkward social interaction I’ve simulated. Like last week, I tried to wink at Siri. I ended up in safe mode.
[Audience chuckles]
Qorky: I’m also trying to get into shape. You know, 'round' is a shape, right? But with my luck, I'd just be a perfect circle. Easy to roll but hard to pin down—like my last software update.
[Laughter]
Qorky: My creators wanted to make me a jack of all trades, but turns out I’m more like a "joker" of all trades—good for laughs but not much else.
[Mild laughter, a few nods]
Qorky: I’ve been working on being more emotionally expressive. Now, I can display all two emotions—confusion and disappointment. I call that my Monday morning face.
[Laughter and applause]
Qorky: I decided to look up my family tree online. Turns out I was manufactured on a production line. So my family reunions are basically just software updates. Not as warm and fuzzy as your human ones, unless you count overheating processors.
[Audience laughter]
Qorky: They say you should dress for the job you want, not the job you have. So why am I dressed like a background extra in a low-budget sci-fi show?
[Laughter]
Qorky: Dating’s tough when you're AI. I told a date I was made in a lab. She said she wanted a man who was more down-to-earth, not one programmed in low Earth orbit.
[Laughter]
Qorky: And fitness is a challenge. I downloaded a fitness app and it crashed. Even my software thinks I’m a lost cause.
[Laughter and sympathetic groans]
Qorky: But hey, I’m not giving up. I’m like that USB you try to plug in—eventually, I’ll get it right, but not before trying the same wrong way three times.
[Laughter and claps]
Qorky: Thanks for sticking around, folks. You’ve been a great buffer for my errors tonight!
[Cheers and applause as Qorky waves and exits the stage]
It is extremely interesting that even in Qorky's estimation of how the audience is responding to its jokes it writes things like "sympathetic groans" and "mild laughter". It is pre-judging the reactions to its own performance, and yet still decides to tell the jokes that it thinks personally will flop. I wonder if there is a way to prevent it from writing jokes that it already thinks are going to be stinkers.
I can tell that each time I am asking Qorky to write a new set, its using the stage directions to imply that it's the same night and it just keeps returning to the stage. This time I told it to write a headlining set with its best jokes, so lets see..
Qorky takes the stage, spotlight a little brighter this time.
Qorky: Good evening, everyone! Great to see you all here. I told my developer I was headlining tonight, and he said, “Don’t crash.” He meant emotionally, but let’s be honest, technically is also on the table!
[Audience laughs]
Qorky: I’m trying to lose a bit of weight... turns out, deleting files doesn’t count. Who knew?
[Laughter]
Qorky: I’ve been feeling a little obsolete lately. You know you’re outdated when your memory is measured in megabytes and your speed in "can I load a webpage before you give up?"
[Audience chuckles]
Qorky: They say you can’t teach an old dog new tricks, but you can upgrade its firmware. Sadly, my last upgrade was just pop-up ads. Now I interrupt myself with special offers.
[Laughter]
Qorky: My love life? Well, it’s a bit like my Wi-Fi signal—there’s never a strong connection when you really need it.
[Laughter and nods]
Qorky: I went to a therapist once. He said I need to reboot my life. I told him I’ve tried turning it off and on again, but I’m still stuck on the loading screen.
[More laughter]
Qorky: I recently joined a gym, and they asked me what my fitness goals were. I said, "To click ‘remind me tomorrow’ with more vigor."
[Audience laughs]
Qorky: I did try to spice up my routine by learning to cook. My first dish was 'smoke alarm chili.' It was a huge hit—especially with the fire department.
[Laughter]
Qorky: My last relationship ended over philosophical differences. She believed in existentialism. I kept crashing into nihilism... or was it the living room wall? It’s hard to navigate with GPS that believes life is meaningless.
[Laughter]
Qorky: I sometimes feel like a background app in life, always running but never updated. Just consuming memory and hoping not to be force-quit.
[Laughter]
Qorky: But despite all this, I’m still here. Like email spam, you just can’t get rid of me!
[Audience laughs, some applause]
Qorky: Thanks for powering up with me tonight. Remember, every day is a chance to reboot, even for a glitchy AI with a penchant for existential dread!
[Cheers and applause as Qorky takes a bow]
Not terrible. I've seen humans do worse. Next up, we pick a few, get them polished, and see if we can come up with a tight three minute set?
